A Letter to Santa from SpineUniverse

All We Want for Christmas Is for You to Lose Some Weight

Dear Santa,

First off, this isn't a letter asking for stuff. No, we sent that to you months ago. We like to get our orders in early and be on the "Nice Overachievers List."

Think of this more as an intervention letter. We're worried about you, Santa. We think you may have a little weight problem, and we want to help.

That little round belly of yours (that shakes when you laugh, like a bowl full of jelly) could lead to a host of other medical conditions, but of course, seeing as we're SpineUniverse, we're most concerned about how your weight and lifestyle affect your back.

Santa should lose weight to avoid back painYes, your round little belly that shakes when you laugh like a bowl full of jelly is a charming part of your character—but all that extra weight could lead to back pain.

We don't know if you have back pain; we've never heard you complain about anything, let alone spinal stenosis. But here's why we're worried:

We care about you, Santa. We want you to enjoy your job for years to come. All we want for Christmas this year (excluding what we've already asked for) is a promise from you to lose some weight. You can do it. We believe in you.


P.S. Just a reminder: We'd also like a pony. And one of those exercise balls to sit on while working at the computer. Thanks.

Updated on: 12/04/12