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husband refusing to go to the ER

Started by 1354993567@facebook on 11/13/2011 8:13am

Good morning everyone,

My husband had his decompression and L4-L5 fusion on Oct 24th they also took out his old screws from L5-S1. He was only in the hospital for 5 days he was demanding to be release he refuse to go to inpatient rehab. He had his staples removed they said everything was fine. He been falling. He took a fall before we seen his surgeon on Thursday then he almost fell with his walker when we were walking out of the office to the waiting room. I was able to get him to sit on his walker since it has a seat. He had to do this twice before we got to the waiting room. The surgeon had us go to the hospital for blood work said it didn't look that bad on the outside but wants to check to see if he has infection since I told him he was having fevers between 99 to 101. The incision is healing but has some redness and swelling. I take daily pictures of it and it gives me a clear picture that I can't see with my own eyes. Able to blow it up to see it better. The surgeon also fax over an order for ultrasound to have them check for fluid in his back and if he did they were to drain it and send it out to the lab to see what it is. Well the hospital didn't call until Friday and now got to wait until Thursday to have this test. Crazy isn't it! By then his infection could spread. Don't know why he didn't do a stat on it! The office call me back on Friday ask me where he had done the blood work which was the hospital right across the street from the surgeon office. They told me they are trying to track it down and call me back. But never got that call back either. ugh
Saturday his fevers were running 101 to 102.6. He still refusing to go to the hospital. He also fell yesterday morning as well he trip over our dog with his walker. He didn't tell him to move out of his way he try barging thru with his walker so trip with the walker and fell on top of me I was sitting at my desk on the computer and eating my cereal. He never told me that he hurt himself. I help him up but he kept it from me. I would of taken him to the hospital immediately. He did tell me later and ask for ice packs. His pain in his legs were gone a week ago and now it is back as well as the hip pain. He may of screw something up. But how do I convince him to go to the hospital??? He is a grown man I can't force him to go. I am practially begging him to go. It just breaks my heart to see him in so much pain and the fever really is a big concern for me. He barely ate yesterday the only thing he ate was a banana and try to eat soup and scramble eggs but only took a bite of each but ate the whole banana. I did get down one of my protein drinks has 17 gms of protein, no sugar and lots of vitamins.
I got up at 5 am and felt his body it was very hot to the touch. So I got out the new ear therometer and took his temp it was 104 check it again 103 and hanging now around 102.6 which the advil help I didn't want to give him tyenol because his percocets have that in them. I keep telling him he needs to let me take him to the hospital or call and ambulance to take him. I don't want anything to happen to him if that happens I would blame myself because I couldnt' get him there in time. His family would blame me as well. We will be married 25 yrs on Dec 18th and I know the best and know how stubborn he can be.
We have 2 teens with special needs. Our 14 yr daughter doesn't understand what is going on and doens't show any empathy and son is 17 he is so worried about his dad keeps asking me why wont' he go to the hospital. They both have autism and bipolar. They ge the bipolar from him. He also has diabtes and was taken off his metformin week before surgery due to his creatine being to high. They had him on insulin in the hospital but only if his blood sugars were over 150 so sometimes he need it and sometimes he dont. His blood sugar at home been high 150 to 299 they were in the 200's couple days ago yesterday they were were running in the 150's or just little higher. His morning blood sugar was 197 which is high with no food in him. And yesterday barely ate and still his sugars were over 150's. I need to check his blood pressure if he lets me. I know on Thursday when we were at the surgeon office it was 105/50 that is low! He usually has high blood pressure and is on meds for that.
His pillows are completely soak again seems been doing alot of laundry due to the sweats he gets from the fevers when they begin to break. But then they go back up again. He keeps telling me that he is fine. How can you be fine I can hear you moan in your sleep and talking in your sleep but you are not making any sense. That is another thing we notice he makes no sense when he is awake says weird things and then forgets in the middle of his sentence what he said and then often falls asleep while he is talking. It is not every day but it is when he is not feeling well. As a few days after he got home he start to do things around the house he is kind of guy who never sits still he has ocd when it comes to keeping our house clean. It bugs him so much the first day home kids left the ketchup out he had to get up and put it away and the do the dishes. When in the hospital he try getting out of bed and bend down to pick up something he drop off the floor. So when I wasn't there I told the nurse to put the alarm on because he will do things like he isn't suppose to do. They want him not to bed, twist or lift for 3 months. Well that is impossible when he won't listen. The only thing he does listen to is no lifting no more than a gallon of milk. But now with the fall he must of twist his back when he landed in my lap. It was a good thing i broke his fall he would of been impossible to get off the floor. We have his 23 yr nephew staying with us. He keeps the house clean, helps me with the kids, dogs and my husband. When I am not there he makes sure to watch him for me. He helps him put up his legs or get things for him. He had to pick him off the floor a few days ago just before we saw the surgeon because I yell at him and said where is your walker he left by the recliner and he was in the kitchen. So he went to walk for it and down he went. He thinks because he legs felt better that he will do without the walker but keep telling him the walker needs to be your best friend never walk without it and use that brace all the time unless in bed. He hates using it. But if he didnt have it on when he falls he would of been having more problems. His back pain has increase since he fell on me and now it down the right hip and leg. Now I am afraid to leave to go anywhere. And with this fever and him not letting me to take him to the hospital. Tomorrow I am suppose go the hospital for my stomach procedure but I need a ride from a friend or family member but one friend who usually takes me both of her cars are down. So trying to find another ride but with the way he is I may need to cancel. And they won't do the procedure unless have a ride. They will cancel if I don't. But maybe it is not a good time for me to have this even though I would be home in 3 to 4 hours but what if I need to take him to the er I am not able to drive for 24 hours because of the sedation. My husband health comes first. I am thinking of not going to the gym this morning because I want to convince him to go to the hospital. I want to call his surgeon but know he will get mad at me if I did and he tells me to take him to the hospital immediately. Heck the surgeon might even yell at me for not calling sooner or taking him to the hospital.
I am just torn what to do. I don't care if he gets mad at
me I am trying to help him get better. He should of taken up the nurse his primary dr offer him when he refuse the inpatient rehab. He could of had a nurse come here daily to check on him. But he seems to depend on myself and his nephew to care of him. And all we do is worry about him. he also devolping a cough hope he doesnt' have pneumonia on top of back infection too. he will never get well if we don't get him there. Any ideas on how to convince him to go to the hospital to at least get him check out and maybe some antibotics heck some iv antibotics right away. Maybe they will admit him even if he dont' want it. Because he is risking his health. He is 49 yr old with health issues I dont' want my husband to get worst. I have so much on my plate right now. I don't have time for myself since I am taking care of him and the family. I am exhausted.

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