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ongoing back pain and problems my whole life.. help me some one please

Started by Aareca on 01/12/2017 8:31pm

I will try not to make this too long but it has to start at the beginning which is the beginning of my life. I will start where i started remembering my life at 6 as a child. I remember i ran around a lot like most normal 6 yr olds but i used to get bad back pains. my mom had it prayed for and that was that until i started jr high and started track and then the back pain got bad again. I had to go into dr's and they could not find out why. One dr suggested I had one leg longer then the other that is whats causing all my spine problems my whole life but then i have a chiropractor saying no my alignment is all wrong and thats causing it and another dr say something was wrong with my hips and another dr say no your hips are fine we have no idea whats going on with you. My back finally went out when i was 29. i couldn't feel anything from the waist down and had to have an emergency surgery. I got feeling back in my left leg and partially the right leg. I couldn't feel the back from the buttocks down. I have a brother tell me i was dropped a lot as a baby and another say i was spanked a lot but i don't think spanking little toddlers will cause that but being dropped might i don't know. even though I continued to get herniated disc's they never really got bad because i followed the Dr's orders and didnt lift more the 10 lbs or do really hard work. I was fine for about 10 yrs and now its starting all over again and I'm scared. On top of all that i slipped on ice a couple yrs ago and shattered my bad leg(right leg) above the ankle which took a yr to heal. they thought they were going to need to do another surgery to stimulate it to heal or something like that but then i went in a couple months later and it was all healed. but to me it didn't heal. sometimes it still feels like its broke to this day but i know its not. from the knee down i am in so much pain its like Fibromyalgia. every little thing i step on is extremely painful or if i bump my leg omg the pain is bad, but yet at the same time i can't feel it. It's like walking on a stub sometimes from the knee down and i get these really bad episodes where all my muscles in my leg will start cramping up and i can feel like the tendons stretching and pulling and it freaks me out because i feel like they are going to snap at any time i dont know whats causing that. its a new symptom. my other symptoms are... from the center of my back where i feel the pinching at is kinda numb all the way down like there is an invisible ring around my body around the stomach/liver area that generates down. its almost like a constant pressure from there down. when i go to bed i cant feel my buttocks, its like im sleeping on pillows i cant feel. and now my left leg is starting to feel like my right leg as far as numbness and my knee is starting to hurt. I do tend to walk mostly on my left leg and i have a really bad limp. my walking is getting a lot worse the nerve shocks i get are getting a lot worse, my right knee hurts so bad sometimes i have to rub it all the time. and now im starting to feel pinching in my neck and my arms are starting to tingle all the time and feel weird. other symptoms are im having more and more problems with having accidents. Im sorry i cant explain a lot better or more profession words but yeah and now resently i cant even hold in the gas so im like freaking out all the time hoping i dont do it in front of ppl and Im just a mess. I do believe i developed an enxiety disorder because i feel like im dying all the time but ppl i talk to say it sounds like anxiety attacks and if thats so i have them like 20 times a day. It starts at the core of my body and travels to my head and then i feel really hot and weak and light headed and they just make me feel like im dying. My mind is going. Im so forgetful these days its really crazy and lately Ive been feeling like i am crazy because i have a Dr that is trying to help me but everytime she send me to a specialist there is nothing wrong and the neurologist she sent me to pretty much told me to FO that he wasnt going to help me and pushed me out the door. He made me feel so little like im not worth trying to help. His intern was even upset with him and shaking his head the whole time. My depression has gotten so bad i wont leave the house unless i have to and i mainly wont if its icy out or raining or anything that might make it slippery out. Im scared for my life and sometimes I feel like im so crazy that im just imagining this is all happening to me. I guess in a way the Dr didnt want to mess with me because i have a pacemaker so I cant have an MRI and no insurance. I got kicked off disability bacause they think i should be able to work even tho i get shocks in my leg bad enough to drop me to my knee's and I walk like im drunk and have accidents and not just urine anymore its both and they expect me to be able to work when i am too afraid to even leave my house. I just tried to get back on disability and was denied again. they say i will be better within 6 months even tho its been about 6 months now and im still getting worse and my depression and mental health is getting worse to the point where i feel like Im just wasted space and dont want to live anymore. Please tell me there is still hope for me?.... sorry for the spelling and grammer getting worse im trying to do this without crying and fast.

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I couldnt find an edit button so sorry to add more here but i forgot to mention that i did have a needle test done almost a yr ago that suggested i needed surgery in the L5 area i think he said somewhere in the middle of my back. i have the results to them but when i tried for disability those records where lost due to someone spelled my name wrong but i recently found them. Also I have a lose of appitite that i cant eat anything. i take a couple bites and have to force it down. its been an ongoing thing and i started losing a lot of weight fast. Like i said im a mess and just need some good advise on what to do since no Dr's but this I want to say small town Dr even tho she is in Omaha NE lol but she can't keep helping me for free forever. i feel so bad because she is doing this all free and getting nothing back in return and she is already a struggling Dr. Please Please someone help me or give me some good advise or something.

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How you doing, the only way I can help is to let you know your not crazy. I had weight surgery that went bad had bad infection lost my stomach and half left lung and had my left hip replaced. I had been seeing a pain specialist for a year and a half he was prescribing strong pain medication and had a pain stimulator in planted. It helped for 3 weeks and the pain came back stronger than before. My doctor couldn't figure out why so after that long with him he looked at me and said your lying you are addicted to the drugs and laughed at me and said get your prescription and see you next month this was 6 months ago and have a new pain specialist which is trying to help the MRI showed damage to the spine. The pain is so bad I can't do anything I can only sit for a while and walking makes it worse. I need to rest every 2 hours and the medication I get in Mexico works very little. I responded to you because you aren't alone and I am great full to be alive for 3 more years but feel I would have been better off dead for me and my family everybody thinks I'm lying just so I don't have to work and have also felt I am crazy. Even my family is beginning to doubt me. Sorry about writing that much and your not alone.

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Hello, Aareca--we are so sorry to read about your experience. We wish we could tell you exactly what's wrong or the direction to take, but we can't. Here's what we can do: We can tell you that you are not alone, and what your feeling is real and legitimate. You matter, and you are not a lost cause. There are people in this Community who know exactly what you're going through.

Even if you don't have insurance, there are resources (many of them free) that can help. Your community may have free mental health services, or you can call mental health hotlines that will lend an ear and may offer advice. Here are some helpful links you may want to check out:

http://www.nami.org/Find-Support/NAMI-HelpLine#crisis
http://findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov/

While you haven't found a treatment that has worked to relieve your pain, that doesn't mean one doesn't exist. Keep talking with your doctor about your pain and what you can do to find some answers. Don't lose faith, Aareca. Please keep us posted on how you're doing.

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