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IT'S RAY WEED I'M BACK FACEBOOK LOCKED ME OUT. HELLO OLD FRIENDS.

Started by ragweed2011 on 05/17/2013 2:08am

WELL IT'S BEEN SINCE SEPTEMBER 6, 2011. THATS WHEN I HAD MY SPINAL FUSION. I HAD SPONDYLOLISTHESIS OF THE L5/SI , ARTHRITIS , DEGENERATIVE DISCS , NERVE DAMAGE AND BULDGING DISC.
HAS BEEN A LONG RIDE SINCE MY SURGERY. THE SURGERY WAS A SUCSESS BUT IT DIDN'T FUSE.
I'VE BEEN THREW EVERTHING THAT YOU ALL ARE JUST STARTING OR HAVE BEEN THREW. I HAVE ALLOT OF OLD FRIENDS ON HERE. AS WELL AS OLD POSTINGS THAT MAY HELP ALLOT OUT THERE. I WENT BY RAY WEED. BUT FACE BOOK FELT I WASN'T ALLOWED BACK ON. SO NURSE NANCY AND MANY OTHERS. I'D LIKE TO KNOW HOW YOU ARE. NANCY HOW DID THE SURGERY GO ON TAKING OUT THE HARDWARE. SO IF I CAN HELP ANYONE. I'M HERE.
THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
RAY WEED.

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hello i'm ray.
if anyone has any questions please ask.
i'm here to share only what i went threw.
i will check my page daily.
god bless you all .
ray

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God bless you Ray. do you smoke? did they provide the fusion stimulator (electrical device)? did you get bone from the bone bank or was a graft taken from you?

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Intractable
No I don't smoke. But I do chew snuff.
Guess it's worse. Though I did stop for a few months during
My six month healing stage. But nerves got bad. So I chewed
But cut way way back. They should have offered a bone growth
Stimulator right after the surgery. Truthfully they should offer this
To everyone after a fusion. But they were to use my own bone.
And a harden plastic cage. I didn't find out until my six month X-ray
I was glued together. That's what popped two weeks after my surgery
When I stretched in the morning. So truly I don't know for sure what the put in there.
They had to add two extra screws and longer rods because it was real bad.
He wasn't expecting to find so much damage. But they were to use my own bone rods and screw.
And a cage with my bone in it. And to put the vitamin rich bone cream around the cage.
Turns out it was glue. Sneaky aren't they. But I got one doctor that told me the truth.
Needless to say. I hadn't seen him after that. But I got his signature on the disabled paper.
They must of got rid of him. Cause they brought other doctors in to try and say OH we used glue
To close the wound. I said yah I know that. I could see it. I said but nice try.
I'll make sure that the doctor that told me the truth will be at the hearing if he has to.
Don't get me wrong. I'm greatful. But don't lie to me. That's how I ended up here to start.
Family doctor new I had this at the age of 23 but never told me till 2009 when it was to late to change
A work life style. I'm doing ok as long as I do nothing. But I'm struggling very bad right now.
With anger and depression. I had to leave one place for depression and anxiety treatment.
The LPN made a pass at me and said ill put you on Effexor so you can have a sex life.
This was after she had me on saraquil and Zoloft. They want you so sick. So it is a sure thing you'll get
Your SSDI. So now I'm in CBT congestive behavioral Therapy. To help me with anger.
And depression and anxiety. I have a good doctor that put me on a very low dose of Xanax and Paxil.
I think the Paxil is making me more pist off. But so far the Xanax is working to help calm me down.
It's sad. It's a system. Doctors know you have a problem but don't tell you.
Then years latter it's surgery to get quality of life. Then surgeons lie to you.
The denied SSDI so you have to hire a attorney. Then the make you do all the work
While you don't have a penny to your name. They pass you off on there specialist for depression. They
Dope you up so they know you'll win your case and get you hooked on there junk.
Then when or if you win. Everyone has a hand in it before you see a dime. Includes the IRS.
Then everyone wonders why some one takes a gun and goes nuts. They said on the news they are taking
Good stamps away. First it was the cash assistance of only $5.80 a day to live on.
Now no food. Ray may be on the news soon. But trying to take it one day at a time.
What makes it harder. Is if your single. No support. Most people that are married and have one spouse sick. Loose there life savings. Or end up divorcing because one is a coward and won't stand by there side.
Everyone for them selves I guess. Sorry you got me on a bad night.
I'm angry and it shows. I lost a almost 4 year relationship because I got sick.
Was the best relationship I ever had to. I truly loved the women. But her and her mother just couldn't have a cripple in the family. Shame on you if your reading this. But she's a turd under the bridge. :)
So yah. This is me now. Hope the info is helpful. Sorry if it offended anyone.
I had allot of friends on here at one time. Guess they all are going threw the roller coaster of life now after surgery. I keep everyone in my prayers. Even the bad doctors.
Ray.

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Hi Ray,
I thought, with you being gone, that you were doing better. It sucks that you're still struggling but at least you haven't quit. :)
I'm still struggling too.
As much as it hurts, I keep myself moving. After all, I'll be hurting tomorrow even if I stay in bed, so I might as well DO something daily.
I'll post again soon (I was in the middle of something when I saw your post).
Looking forward to catching up.
:)

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Upanddown
I'm hanging in here.
I can contral the pain.
But I went from severe depression to severe anger.
Now I have the anger under control.
Just waiting on my hearing.
In the mean time. I'm loosing my Mind.
Nothing to do. No were to go.
Climbing walls.
Not sure if you know. I lost the relationship I was in.
She couldn't live with someone disabled.
If that isn't a kick in the berries.
But I'll be here. What have you been up to.
I hoped to hear from nurse nancy.
She has her hardware removed. I wanted to see if her pain was less
Or if her vertabra slipped again.
But you are the only one on from the past.
Fill me in how are you.
What have you been doing.

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where are you at upanddown????????

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Hey Ray weed, I was reading some of your older post a min. ago and here you pop up with new one. Sorry about your relationship, I never fused with a l4-s1 and they redid on 1-28-13 still recovering and my pain is still bad, and im waiting on ssi or whateverone is for not enough work credits wandering if i should go get attorney for when the give me my appt before judge. I read nursenancy to and interested in her outcome. Living in pain everyday id bad enough but when you cant support your kids and yourself it turns into a nitemare. It's cloudy and its been raining for a couple of days and i was looking today to see if anyone else got seriuosly worse when the clouds and rains come not to forget the cold that was awful to, like my normal pain isn't bad enough. Hopeful for a good outcome.

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Hi Ray,
How are you doing? I've been dealing with one thing or another. My thoracic spine is growing worse. I can control the pain through modifying my activities, unfortunately, it means doing less. I did manage to paint a small bedroom, it took me 4 days, but I got it done. The bedroom was down stairs, and now my knees are killing me. I guess, due to the weakness and muscle atrophy, I was using my knees more than muscles to go down the stairs (Coming up wasn't a big deal), and now...OUCH! It's pretty apparent that once one part of your spine is fused, you're never the same.
I'm feeling better in myself now that summer is here (I was getting pretty depressed, being shut in the house all winter), and even though I'm still not driving, I can at least get out and dink around in the garden. I just try to keep moving.
I understand your anger. I spent a good couple of years feeling absolute FURY after my lumbar fusion. Eventually, I worked through it and found myself at the other end of the tunnel, and even though I suffered even more work injuries, I refuse to get angry about it because I've already lost too much. I have to keep my focus on not losing more of my life to this.
What are you doing with your days? Do you still have your dog(s)? You said your pain was being managed, that's a good starting place, it means your focus can be on finding your new normal. It's a heck of a learning curve that's for sure, but it's better than the alternative.
I'll post again soon. Take care.
:)

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DENISELYNN
yes get a attorney.
You are braver then me.
I won't get it done again unless the hardware brakes and I can't move.
You know what it's like for the healing process.
Yes I was heart broken to loose someone I truly loved over something
I had no control of. But we have to keep moving on.
I hope and pray you fuse this time.
Course from what upanddown said. She fused but now she has other pain because of it.
Yes I wanted to hear from nurse nancy to see if by removing the hardware
If her pain is less. Or if she slipped again.
But stay in the loop. We want to hear from you.
The only thing I see that might hurt you the second time around is scar tissue.
The other is SSDI might make you wait longer to see if you fully fuse.
So that might have hurt your case. If you fuse and are still in allot of pain.
They won't grant it to you unless your hardware breaks.
I'm doing the best I can. Hearing is in front of the judge here soon.
Yes I know about the kids. My two girls have to do with out because of the system.
And yes. Humidity rain and in fall and spring when it goes from hot to cold or in reverse days
I hurt. And bad. But me and mr. Morphine are good friends. Lol.
I'll be shore to stay in touch.
My prayers are with you.
Ray.

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UPANDDOWN
Hi there.
I'm doing ok.
Yes still have jake my huskey. Would be lost with out him.
Can you believe when my girlfriend broke up with me and asked me to
Move out. She wanted my dog. My mouth dropped. I said what.
She said leave jake with me I'll take care of him. I said you don't take care of your own dog.
He's mine. And I can't believe you would think I'd leave him here.
Crazy. Yah I know what you mean about doing things. Took me a hole day just to wash
And vacuum my car. I feel like I'm 90 years old. Glad you fused : P
Booger. Wish I did. So far I got hit twice real bad since the surgery. This was in the past few months.
All I did was leaned forward just a little and relaxed my back. And again felt like a got stabbed
With a knife. Each time I was in bed for three days. I have the morphine working ok for me know.
Took a while to find the right dose and kind. I take more of the fast act now. I use the extend at night and
When I get stabbed. I still suffer with depression. Not as bad as I did. But still there.
I'm coming to terms with I'll never be who I was. Or have what I did. But the anger.
I have a ways to go. I'm on Xanax for it. It calms me in about 4 minutes. I call it the I don't give a shit pill. Lol. They had me on it when my marriage went in 2000. It was this or Valium. Course I'd liked the Valium better :) but I was told it will take about three years to adjust to this new life.
Think there right. I came back on. Hoping to connect to old friends. And help anyone going threw this.
I'm almost at the end of the SSDI bit. So I been threw it all. But no one real asks anything.
I keep checking. It helps me stay social in a way. Yes it's nice it's summer. Course I wish it was winter.
It's when I don't hurt as much. And I love the snow. Jake the pour guy. He had a hard time adjusting.
His hair even grew funny because he was as lost as I was over loosing sandy and moving here.
I had to give him some of my tranxene at the time to calm him down. Not on it anymore. But he's adjusting too. I'd give anything for one bad day at work again. But. It is what it is. I've tried to date again but it's to soon. And they know I'm not me. So. I try to find things to do day to day. And it bites.
But I'm glad to hear from you. Glad you fused. And I hope things are better for you.
I hope nancy comes back to let us know how she is. I know she said she used up all there money.
I hope her husband didn't leave her. I haven't had a income for three years now.
Well more like two. One year of unemployment. But it's hard even when a prescription is only a dollar.
And you have no money. Some day. Well my friend.
It's late. I still can't sleep. Lol. But I'm thinking again and I don't want to get down.
So. I will keep you and everyone here in my prayers.
Thanks for replying. And keep replying.
And be careful. Don't do anything that you'll pay for later.
God bless you.
Ray.

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Thanks Ray, I was wandering about getting attorney I am waiting for my appt. before judicial judge haven't got appt. yet. I did everything myself because I was hoping I would get better and I found out last oct. that I didn't fuse. Just in alot of pain when he got in there in he said my l4-l5 was moving because screws backed out. Your back might not be stable and the pain was so bad a surgery was another chance to fix. Of course im still in pain but not as much as before running around with kids don't help. I miss the days when I could sit for longer then 30 min. with being in agony. And my dr. just took me off percocet and put me back on vicoden the med. I was on for so long. Not really working for me right now. Im on xanex to from other dr. im bipoler and suffer from anger and anxiety so I know how you feel. And the depression is an ongoing battle to keep under control.Think I am going to call that attorney, why take chance because im in bad situation right now relying on ex to help. Still hoping for a pain free day. lol, like thats going to happen.

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DENISELYNN. Seems all our stories are the same.
But think of tomorrow as a day you might miss something new.
Or good. That the only reason I get up anymore.
We all are bipolar now. And PTSD. And a touch of OCD.
We are like solders instead of wondering why we made it. We are wondering why
We got left behind. Used up and no good to the world.
That's how they make me feel. Keep you chin up. You may have a second chance.
I don't. I just can't go under the knife again. I don't want to loose what sanity I have left.
You'll have good days. :) god bless you. Keep fighting. It's a long wait.
I'll keep you in my prayers.
Ray.

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Thanks Ray, your words are appreciated. Im sorry that you feel that way and alot of days I do to after so many years of pain it's hard to feel good about any thing and know one can understand what we go through. My own children have no empathy they are ass holes about my pain. I work really hard not to fall into that pit of dispair and alot of days im in it. And there are days where I want to die especially before I found out I hadn't fused and I was going through all those injections and nothing was working and my pills didn't work and I felt hopless. The day I found out WHY my pain was so much worse was actually a good day for me because it was a answer that IT wasn't in my head. I was embarassed and still am about seeking help with pain relief since everyone looks at us as drug seekers. That is one thing I will have to get over I might have a chance at better life if pain was better controlled.. Still hopeful, gonna hate when I loose that. Praying for all of us.

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deniselynn.
i hope all work out for you.
i hope and pray you fuse. yes we all have our bad days.
some more then others. but its life. and yes others will never understand.
even people i talked to that have a health condition look at me and say you don't understand.
your not me. i just smile and say yep!!!
thats why you don't understand what i'm going threw.
its because they are one minded. but there intitled.
i'll be ok. i'm use to all this now. no i'm still not happy.everything is uncertain. but life goes on.
you got me on a good night. as you can tell. lol
you get some rest and get well. i'm going to keep on keeping on.
god bless you.
my prayers are with everyone.
ray

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Hi Ray,

I have posted some comments on your other threads.

Cheers,

Robert.

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sorry robert.
was just to tired to write more that night.
i got yah.
blessings
ray

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