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DDD,Barretts Esphagus Disease ,Dysphagia,IBS

Started by 1610904920@facebook on 11/03/2012 1:29pm

Hi, my blog name is linska. This my first time on this blog but after reading all these stories I decided to share mine. My problems started right after I turned 50 and menapause kicked in. My first neurosurgeon fused c-3 &c-4, the following year c-5 &c-6. That surgery us unsuccessfull so he decided I needed the nerves in my neck shaved. Of course I did not like the idea of that so I went and got two other written opinions and both Dr.'s said he needs to go back in there and put the plate and screws. Well, because I trusted my neuro I went ahead and had my nerves shaved. Gotta tell you, the pain was worse than anything I ever felt in my life. I had 16 staples running down from the back of my head down to around T-4. If that was not enough I also caught that multi strain baterial infection MRSA. Needless to say that surgery did nothing and I still had the same pain I started with so I decided to find a new neurosurgeon. Funny thing was no Dr. would touch me for 6 months, I'm guessing it some kind of Dr. rule or liability thing. so I wait my 6 months, found a great neuro at the mayfield spine clinic and from there I had c-5&c-6 plated and screws, c-6 & c-7 plated and screwed, then had to have c-3&c-4 redone with plates and screws and the c-2 & c-3 plated and screws. This has been going on since "07". Now I find out my lumbar is slowly degenerating, not to mention all my other problems I have. Talk about chronic pain! Finally had to stop taking percocets 10/650's because of all the tylenol in it and my Dr. came up with a mix of percocet-just 10mgs and ms cotin 30mgs. What a world of diffence this has maded for me. I still have pain but not like I used to, I felt like a new women pain wise. I still can't sit or stand for long periods but thatbecause of my lumbar, and can't bend my neck for long periods with out pain but it nothing like it was before. Aside from all that I'm still limited. I used to work 2 jobs, workout, just go,go,go. Now my whole life has changed coupled with my other diseases that I've turned into a hermit. Only go out when I have to,I cancel invites, stay in pj;s all day and don't do anything but computer, read and sleep and that's with 60mgs of prozac. Everyday is the same! I hate being disabled and limited so much, and one time I had thought of offing myself. Worse part it's only going to get worst now with my lumbar wittling away. How do you out there cope from day to day? I'd hate to think this is it day in and day out. Any ideas???

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Linda,
HOPE! That's all some of us have. Hope things will get better. Hope for better pain management with fewer side effects. Hope that new treatments will come along. Hell, sometimes I hope I've got clean P.J.'s.
I know most of us here understand, what going from very active to sedentary does to a person. Who wouldn't be depressed?
Hang in there, I had a 2 level fusion done in 2007. It was a miracle as far as I was concerned. I could control my pain with 1 lortab 5/350. What I'm saying is, there's hope that it will be the same or better for you. ( As far as the lumbar goes anyway.)
I blew my chance by doing the same back-breaking work which caused my lumbar injury to begin with. I should have realized I would never be the same. I was ignorant then, a little wiser now.
Relief from the constant pain is key, to give yourself a break. So keep working with you Dr. to find what works best for you...(I'll be doing the same.)
Does chronic pain cause depression or does depression cause chronic pain? The answer is Yes. Both are true, and one will make the other worse.
Don't give up, keep slogging through the days, it will get better,
Janet :)

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Thank You Janet for your understanding. Apparently you get the "PJ" thing. When you wake up and know you have nothing to do, why get dressed? Something simply as cleaning my living rooms glass tables will put my lumbar in pain; I mean really? I can:t clean a few tables without lumbar pain? But I can't. After my 6th surgery, last one being March 15, 2012, it did something to me mentally. I don't look at things the same as I used to. I used to love the holidays/not anymore. I wish I didn't have to participate but with 2 daughters I can't hurt them like that because it's always been the best times with dinner and presents and laughter, but if I had a choice I let them just come and go as i sat in my "PJ's not to mention I can't give them what I used to because I'm now on disability and can't afford things like I use to. I just don't understand why I've turn into a hermit now.

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I'm a hermit too!
I don't know Linda, I feel the same way you do. Do you think our age (I just turned 50), combined with menopause and surgeries that don't give relief, has anything to do with it? I mean yeah, it could be worse ( it could always be worse), but that doesn't negate how I feel. Antidepressants aren't magic, I'm depressed because this sucks! It feels like this last injury, and the fight with w/c, really took something out of me. Maybe it's knowing that "this," is as good as it gets. I know I'd feel a whole lot better if I could control this pain. (duh.) Pain management is going to be the #1 topic when I go for my 3 month post-op app. It's not an option. I need to be able to do things (anything), without this all consuming pain. I'm sure if I got some relief, I wouldn't even need the antidepressant, and if I have figured this out, why haven't the Dr's? It's not rocket science is it?
On the "up" side, I do get to read...a lot, and I LOVE reading. (Escapism at its best.)
Hang in there Linda,
Your fellow pajama wearing hermit,
Janet :)

P.S. Sorry about the mood of the post, I've been a bit "down" lately. (More than usual.)
Post back when you can, I'll be thinking about you. :)

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Hi, if I may share with you, don't think about the limitations. Think about what you can do. Learn to love life in any kind of way that makes you feel better. Realize that any thing you do is a great triumph, I mean that, brushing your teeth, combing your hair and saying yes today I have complete one or two tasks. Try to always have something to look forward too. Like, I will watch my favorite show at 2pm, or today I will read ten pages from my favoite book.

If you do this everyday you'll start to look forward to that 2pm show or favoite book. You might learn to draw or do something that doesnt require to much movement or doesn't have to be completed in one day.

Life becomes liveable again. Don't forget to keep reaching out. Hope this helps. It has work for me for the last 12 years. Much healing energy to you

P.S. Please always try the National Suicide LIne 1-800-273-8255 If you start thinking like that again please, Also look into the book called Mirical of Magnesium by Carol Dean, M.D.,N D it helps a lot!!!

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Andree,
Thank you for posting. You're right, it's so important to find something, anything, to look forward to. To have a sense of accomplishment, even with the smallest of tasks. It's too easy to forget this. (I forgot this.) It's such a simple thing and yet sometimes one of the hardest.
Thank you for the insight, it means a lot,
Janet. :)

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Thank you Andree for responding. Just so it's clear, I may of thought about it once but I would never "off" myself no matter how bad it gets. I have 2 beautifull daughters and were very close and I could never hurt them like that. I agree about looking for things to do, but as Janet can tell you, they can be done in P.J.'s. I read alot, I got my computer, I don't watch tv until the evening but I knit at night,so I do keep my mind busy. I have to see Dr. wednesday because the last 2 weeks my entire right side all my bones ache, to the point where it wakes me up at night and seems to be getting worse. In my case when I go to the dr.s it usually start a ball rolling of tests and that's probably why I didn't a doctor about my foot when I fell down stairs. I figured my foot on the "right side" was brusied, fractured or sprained so since I have fractured my foot before I wrapped my 2 toes together and went on with life. That was a month ago and it's still tender ans swollen so maybe that has something to do with my bones hurting. I just am so sick of dr.s and test. You never mentioned what illness you are going through, but if your on this sight you surely have pain. It's hard to stay positive when your always hurting and that's what makes it hard for me to get out and enjoy doing things. But keep rooting for me and helping me stay positive like janet.

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Linda,
Hope you get some relief when you see the Dr.. I have come to understand they will do their tests (hopefully one of those tests will reveal whats going on). But while I wait, I will insist on meds to help with pain, depression, sleep, and stress. Whatever it takes to (safely) keep the monkey that's on my back from strangling me! I'm not going to continue to spend the, "first day of the rest of my life" in pain.( And if I let them, a lot of Dr.'s will have me do just that.)
It's one thing at a time.
I just had 2 root canals done in one dentist visit because I hate going out, so I do understand the hassle ( I'm starting to get a bit panicky when I know i have to go to town), but it's what we have to do in order to get better. No-one can do this for us. We HAVE to be actively involved in our medical care. If we don't say what's going on, they don't know. (Granted are those in the medical profession who are inept or simply don't care about their patients, but there's good and bad everywhere.) If you're not comfortable with the way you're being treated, find a different Dr. Let's face it, if we go to a store and get treated like crap, we go somewhere else the next time. (I will be taking my own advice!) I for one am really TIRED of feeling like this... up-and-down.
I hope you can find the strength to fight for what you know you need, at least tell the Dr. that you're emotionally drained.
Hang in there girl, small steps. Keep your chin up. I'll be looking forward to your posts. :)
By the way, I don't know many knitters, where are you from?
Janet. :)

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