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New-Pain Management doctor won't help

From: BaileeH - on 09/01/2010 9:44pm

Hi everyone, I'm new to the site, and am really glad I found it. I'm a 22 year old mom of 2 and wife of a soldier who is currently deployed to Iraq. I've recently been diagnosed with spondylolisthesis- grade 2, scoliosis, and degenerative disc disease. I've had back been ever since I can remember, but the turning point was when I was 16. I was in the first trimester of pregnancy with my first child, single, and living with my mentally ill mother. I was very very sick when I was pregnant, and she got drunk on her psychiatric meds, and beat the living hell out of me. She stomped on my head, back, and stomach, gave me a black eye, a bloody nose, a concussion and ripped about a 3 inch circle of hair out of my head. Ever since then I have been living with constant pain. Since I had my second child (who's now 17 months), my pain has been, unbearable most days. I couldn't get any doctors to listen to me, they refused to do any tests, they said I was too young to be in pain, and I just wanted pain medication. Finally, and ER doctor did an x-ray on my back after me going there at least 15 times in a year for it. Then I was diagnosed with all this crap, and sent off to a pain management doctor after I had an MRI.

The town I live in has no pain management offices, I have to drive an hour and a half to savannah, GA to see the doctor. At my first appointment, the doctor did a thorough exam, and put me on 10 mg loratabs, 3x a day. I was scheduled for a facet block procedure where I had to have a driver check in with me. The pain medication has done absolutely nothing for me, and my pain has progressively gotten worse since my husband deployed and I literally have to run a household with a special needs 4 year old and a toddler by myself. I had to cancel my procedure, because to be honest, I can't find anyone to drive me, or anyone to watch my kids long enough for me to go and have it done. I live where my husband and I have been stationed, and I have NO family within 900 miles. I have friends, but all their husbands are deployed too, and they can't get anyone to watch their kids to drive me 1 1/2 hours and back for a procedure. The nurse practictioner I saw at my 2nd appointment for medication refill said that they wouldn't even consider changing any of my medication or upping it until I had the procedure done. And if I ran out early and went into withdrawls again, that was my problem, and if it's not managing my pain, that's also my problem. So here I am now, out of pain medication, withdrawing, in a ton of pain, trying to push through everyday until my kids go to bed, then I just sit and sob.

I feel so helpless, and guilty for not being able to do the things with my kids that they deserve for me to do. I want to sit on the floor and play for hours, and go to the park and run around with them. My pain is so intense that I'm really starting to wonder why I even bother being alive. I have no quality of life, and my kids are suffering because their mom can't even walk through the entire grocery store. I miss my husband, and I never realized how much he really helped me out until he left. He worked 12-15 hours a day when he was home and still made sure he helped me when he got off work. I'm sure you can tell this is his first deployment.

Any advice anyone has would be really appreciated. I know this turned into a woe is me post, but I had to vent a little. No one around me understands what it's like to be in pain all the time.

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on 04/13/2012 4:28pm

Hay BaileeH, sorry for your pain and I hope by now you solved the problem. I to am just getting into the problem. I have been in 2 major accidents and on pain meds for 20 years with no problems with my doctors about abuse of them. Now my pain is 24/7 for the last 5 years and now pain strikes hit me monthly where I need help to get everyday things done. So I ask to raise my meds from every 6 hours to 4 due to the effectiveness the last 2 hours of every 6. The fight is on I think!
Dr says not comfortable with prescribing my meds anymore and will not raise them. being sent to pain management for the 6th time that think surgery is the first answer as treatment and if I refuse like I have for the last 20 years my pain meds will be cut off at least by all the stories I have read. I am afraid, big time, without them I am mostly bed ridden.
I dont blame the doctors for the whole mess, I blame the government more and their war on drugs gone crazy. The stats for last year was 40%of the elderly did not get the full dosage as needed and the disabled was almost half. Makes you want to do anything it takes to stop the pain, even if illegal. I would use weed but it isn't even close to be strong enough to give the relief needed.
Because of my problem that seems to be coming I am starting a campaign of contacting everyone in office continually asking for help and get others in pain to do the same. I want to make it clear I am not supporting the illegal drugs on the streets or the drug addicts; but, the most vulnerable in our country, the elderly and disabled to get their full dosage of pain medication and not live in pain because the government has scared the good doctors to stop prescribing correctly do to the bad doctors that give or sell the meds for profit illegally. it makes you want to grow poppies and make your own pain medication but so we can't like we use to back in the old days, there illegal to grow.
Well I hope the best for you, peace, Marleyshot

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on 04/13/2012 9:42pm

I just finished reading your post and i was quite taken with your story. I to suffer chronic back pain due to scoliosis but nothing like your going through, its putting my pain ashame compared to what you are going through. Feel free to message me whenever you need someone to vent to. I'm a very good listener and would love to hear more from you. Your husband sounds like a very kind and understanding man and may god watch over him in his deployment wherever he maybe. Feel free to contact me anytime i may not be of any use since i live here in canada but it's always nice to have someone to vent to and listen as well.

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