Depressed and feeling alone
Well I guess the the title speaks for it's self. But I have been suffering from pain for years. 1991 Work accident, 2005 fall on an escalator and three car accidents one in 07 at low speed went into tree to avoid a boy sledding into the middle of the road, 09 rear ended and 10 hit in the front corner of my car, because an old man was not paying attention and took a turn when he wasn't supposed to.
I understand it's hard to live with someone that is in pain all the time. I am the cup half full type of person and like to joke around allot. It's my way of dealing with things.
Anyways, I have 2 children 13 & 17 and a husband.
I had surgery a year and a half ago to fuse c2-c3 and still do not have much movement in my neck. I still have pain there, but it helped some.
And I just had surgery on L-3/4 & 4/5 on November 4th. 3 weeks ago? My husband works allot because we are financially not doing well. I applied for disability last year and got denied. My work would not take me back after the second accident because I was seen as a liability. I do understand even though I was just a cashier.
Anyways my husband didn't come home for my surgery and has tried not to be home on weekends (he works out of state for the moment) He thinks my kids are fine to take care of me. I haven't been able to drive since the surgery because my right leg can't lift to the left.
Today is Thanksgiving and he took my kids and himself to the next state over to his mothers and left me alone. Is this as bad as I am thinking. I feel like I am going out of my mind. I have been crying all day. I feel like it's not fair. My husband does allot of other crappy stuff and blames me for everything. And nothing I do is good enough. I can't leave because I don't have a job and cannot support myself. I would like to leave when my daughter is settled in college, and I could live happily with my son. He plays head games with the kids. My daughter hardly talks to me. But my son is very sincere and loving. I love them both and hate that this is going on. I feel lost, depressed and don't know what to do. I guess I was wondering if anyone else goes through this. I keep everything inside, try to put up a good front. And try not to complain about pain. My daughter thinks that's all I talk about. But I don't??? I think that is coming from my husband. She also says other things that I know have to come from somewhere else. There are a ton of other bazaar things that he does, but then I would have to write a novel (: He is treating me like I had a tooth pulled and I should be shaking this all off, cleaning, doing laundry, bills etc.
If anyone has any advice I would be truly grateful. My friends understand but I need advice from people sitting on the outside. I feel like it is all too bazaar and not happening?