DDD, ALIF, pain ongoing one year later... UGH
so, at the age of 30, I was diagnosed with degenerative disk disease... I used to be a surgical technologist and I injured my back on the job, during a post-op patient transfer (ironically enough, after performing a lumbar laminectomy). The hospital screwed me out of workers comp, my neurologist who fused L5/S1 last year just looked at my xrays and said I was "fine," and to return to work without restrictions. No one did a functional capacity exam. The thing is, I have chronic pain STILL. the time what lapsed between my initial injury and the date I had my fusion was 11 months, and during that time, I've suffered permanent nerve damage due to the ongoing inflammation and the fact that I was made to work beyond restrictions, when I HAD restrictions... after my surgery, I didn't get better quickly enough and was fired from my job.
I'm trying to get my disability back... hired a lawyer... I'm trying to get cash benefits from the welfare office, and I keep getting shuffled about from place to place... I am so frustrated, and I'm facing eviction now, on top of hurting all the time. it's so bad, I can hardly do housework... lifting wet clothes out of the washer and putting them in a dryer will knock me on my backside for HOURS. today I'm seeing a physiatrist. not really keen on this, as I've heard from a lot of different people that she's one of those, "it's all in your head" types. I'm freaking out right now. I have to take my eviction notice to the welfare office and hopefully get some help before my seven year-old boy and I are evicted from our apartment. I feel like I"ve been in a state of limbo for the last 2 years (the date of my injury was in November of '09)...
does anyone have any insights as to how to cope with the stress, depression, the stigma of chronic pain? my closest friends and my family are all telling me to get off my lazy ass and just get a job...I feel so lost and scared and frustrated and worried and at the end of my rope... I'm sick of the narcotics and this effing pain and the dead ends, the different doctors, the endless forms to fill out, the rejections, the hopelessness of it all. If I wasn't a momma, I'd blow my f*cking brains out.