What's left after spine surgery??
I'm really not sure how to start a discussion on this subject so I will just tell my story in hopes that these words will mean something to someone out there, I've gone unheard for years now and I'm at the end of what I can handle both emotionally and physically so the words I type here are going to be very important to me and you will just have to excuse my spelling or misuse of words... This will be a long post so just sit back and take it all in!!
My name is George B Dearing Jr, I am 6'5" tall and weigh 251 lbs I am 34 years old at this moment till September gets here then I will have made it to one more birthday. I was raised by a mother that was addicted to drugs and she used a needle as her way of enjoying it so at a very young age I was shown things in life most would never thought could be true, I have two older sisters that went threw alot with me and as for our father he was in prison most of our lives. We lived and grew up on the streets of California sleeping under bridges and in cars we ate from trash cans behind places lik McDonalds and Denny's and other aces where food could be found we saw and lived threw so many hardships watching our mother overdose many times, seeing friends die or get killed over drugs and then I was beaten and strangled and told I was going to die by the hands of my own mother mostly because she was coming down off her drugs and she said it was because I looked so much like my father in which I really do! I have many stories that I could tell as it was my way of life then but when I turned 13 I was left on the road by my own family so I did as I was tought and I decided I wanted to change things so I worked and I worked as hard as I could because I didn't have a high school deploma nor do I have one now, so by the age of 17 "1997"I had my first child my daughter and I raised her the way I wished I could have been raised, shortly after I had my son "1998" and then by 2000 my wife left after cheating on me for most of the time we were together so I raised my two children by my self working hard to keep my promise to them that they would never know the life I lived before them!! I them moved to Texas in 2001 and had a son, and still working my but off had three kids and a good life and by 2003 another son came along so I started working even more I drove a tow truck day and night taking care of car wreaks tire changes and even repos I did this seven days a week, I took every job that came up so I could provide for my kids this meant working all day and almost all night sleeping for about two hours or so a day! Then on 12/20/2005 I got a call around 9pm that there was a wreak and I need to go so I jumped into my truck knowing in my heart something was wrong but went anyways, I came to a stoplight where my light was green so with a car traveling right next to me we went on threw the intersection but I saw halfway threw that the car heading for my right side of my truck was not going to stop, I dropped down a gear and tried to get out of the way and was looking threw my back window as the car smashed into the back of my truck spinning me all the way around to the point I was facing the road I just drove down, at this point I got out of the truck and thought my back hurt but I was shook up and so I ended up staying at work that whole night after the wreak.. My boss lady was mad when I finally said after hurting all day and loosing feeling in my legs I wanted to see a dr about it. Well the first hospital did X-rays and said there was nothing wrong and told me to rest for a week and gave me pills to take and I didn't take them! Then after a few days I went and saw another hospital and they said I needed to see a spine dr rightaway so I did and he said the L5-S1 was blown out so they tried for a few months after lots of tests to get the insurance to pay for surgery so by June 2006 I was approved then they put in the Charite disc!!! This was my first big mistake of my life the pain it caused was so unreal!! I am a man who didn't feel much pain I cut my leg with a skill saw and didn't feel anything before I had this disc put in but now the pain was so unreal, the surgeon sold me on this disc then as I complained he said it must just be the healing prosses! Well in Texas we didn't have workmens comp what they have is more like the policy for your car so when it runs out then your out of luck!! So by 2007 I believe it was July or close to it I had no choice but to go to work to support my family! At this point I didn't know my ex wife was stealing my pain meds and even switched my pain meds for muschle relaxers so I took a lot of them while I was trying to work as an iron worker, man they made me so sick and I tought my heart was going to explode, around this time I was taking seven norcos a day 10/325's so seven relaxers a day over a three day stretch just about killed me!! Well then in 2008 came my youngest daughter! Man I was stressed out, my ex wouldn't work at all so it was all still on me! I kept trying to work and come home lay in the bathtub all night crying in pain just to do it again the next day because at this time the ex was taking all my meds and I didn't know, she told me the dr didn't want me to have them anymore so I just took her word for it!! Well in 2008 I lost my job so we move back to California!
As I was new to this state as they say! I couldn't get work and my ex still refused to help! So I didn't have insurance at this time but the pain was too much to deal with so I went to the hospitals a lot to the point they started calling me a pain med seeker! Wow that hurt!! Well I went to Roseville ca hospital with bad pains in my belly, "mind you at this point I had medication in my pocket" they read my chart and said they couldn't give me anything I told them I didn't want their meds I wanted to know why my belly hurt so bad? After being sent home I came back and they treated me for heart attacks all night long then sent me home at 5 am I drove myself home then by 1pm while sitting in church I fell apart so they took me back to the hospital where they left me lying on the waiting room floor for a couple hours then when they took me in the ER they told me again they weren't giving me any pain meds then the dr came to see me and they found that I needed to have my Gaulbladder removed it was full of stones and gain green wow what a shock!! So after that we finally got medical and I started seeing drs again for my spine and legs and each dr I see makes it harder to speak because they make me feel like I'm after meds but what they don't know is I have a wife that takes them and then watch me in pain nice woman huh? So anyways I have had so many tests and procedures done that the drs can't believe it and are shocked that each dr does the same tests and when they find out that the Charite disc is the cause they turn me away and send me off to another dr!! So i ended up leaving my wife after finding that she too was cheating on me and taking my meds and hurting my kids so i took all five of my kids with me and moved on! i lived for sometime with just me and my kids and then decided to see a dr again to start on meds again! i then found a wonderful woman with five kids who wanted me and my five wow how awsome even though i was a broken man she still wanted what was left!! we merried 4/5/2013 So in September 2012 a dr at UCSF decided to do a partial fusion at the location of the disc so steal rods and screws with a bone graft was done to stableize the disc and yet the disc is still in me!! So now my legs are much worse and deep depression has set in! I cannot get my drs to call me back nor look at anything to see where the problem might be!
My spine hurts so bad! I have a lump right next to the scar at the top and my spine at one time made a pop noise as I tried to get up from bed one day! My left hip has a tear in the joint and a tumer in my right hip.. I have recently developed blood clots in my right leg! My left foot kills me along with my leg also my feet go numb if I sit at all or stand too long! My back is killing me I cannot do anything anymore no sleep and no hope!! All I think about is pain 24/7 I have ten children that need me and although I wouldn't take my own life because of them I sure think about it if death is my only cure?!?!?
I have lumps in my legs and in my sides of my belly so my dr said it is limphnodes and I should have it checked? Really? I should have it checked! Whelk I have had such a run of bad luck with all this and I'm still fighting for my disability, they say because I'm 34 that I don't need it and they can retrain me to do something else? Hum? Ok I'm game! But all I can do is lay in my bed and cry about my pain so I guess if there is a job doing that then I've got it made!! So at this point I've come to accept the fact that care in this world has gone! I accept the fact that my kids nolonger see me as superman like they once did they called me that for many years but not now! I cannot figure out how my kids can say I'm their hero? It kills me when they say that lately! I accept that I will be like this for the rest of my days, I will not throw that ball, play guitar, draw with my kids, I cannot dance with my wife nor walk by her side! I'm scared she too will grow tired and be yet another person to leave me!! I will not ride bikes with my kids and so much more! I accept the fact that my life has come to this! I am a man that fought threw this world threw the fires of hell to become the man I once was and a proud man I was because I earned my rights to this life but now to see that it was all just to end up here dying inside full of imaginary pain full of depression and lost, I am scared that this is what's left!!