Just wanted to see if anyone knew how Rene was doing. She hasn't posted in a few days and I was getting worried.
Me TOO! She has certainly been on my mind.... Hope she is safe with Hurricane Sandy. I miss her!
Rene is probably without power. She lives near my daughter and they still are with out power. Or she got booted off here again.. I hope it's the power thing
IM back everone,,soory I was in hiding for awhile,,Missed U all..I just had a bad month,, but im back full force.....:) :) :)
Welcome back Rene,
I just read you got approved for disability, congrats! I'm also glad to hear PM is raking care of your pain. Rene, I know how miserable it is, I just wanted you to know that you are so appreciated here, and very much missed when you weren't,
To all whom have posted on this blog,,,,I was in such a mental funk words cannot say how much U have uplifted me,,God Bless U all for your concern . Its weird how we try to not show our feelings and mood swings with our families which makes our thoughts even harder to pull through But yet when we chat on the site it makes us feel so much better and Loved..We cant penalize our families for not understanding because they will never understand how each day is so hard for us,but yet we know they love us,,but its the support that we so much uern for and cant receive,,I sometimes just want to pack it in n leave because of the frustration of them not understand,, but after I pray and look into my daughters eyes that makes those awful thoughts go away,,and hubby whom has come along way by helping by doing the food shopping or helping w the dishes,(which is something he never had to do for 25yrs) now does,and goes to work to provide for us,I think what more can I expect,,hes doing the best he can,,I just wish he would delegate to my daughters more just to help him,,but its his stubborn italian, his theory is they will B doing it soon enough when they get married so to avoid an argument I let him do it. Hes a good man,,but treats them to much like princesses,,my shrink is working on this issue w me, she asked for me to bring them in for a session w me,,I feel so guilty bringing them into that session,,why I dont know,,actually I do,,I feel they will turn around and tell the father im talking about them and that is a BIG nono in his eyes,,Europeans have a much different way of thinkinj,,any suggestions of a different approach would B appreciated,,Sincerly Rene :)
Ah, adult kids, gotta love em! Sorry to say, but I deal with mine the same way your hubby does. I have tried, don't get me wrong, but I get so sick of my own voice. Getting louder doesn't help (they're not deaf). I have asked, demanded, even begged. My husband does most things around the house because it's just easier than arguing with the kids. ( Mine are 27 yr daughter and 6 yr old granddaughter, back living at home with us, 26 yr son, still at home, and our youngest is 22 yr daughter and lives on her own. The thing is Rene, you're right, they don't understand. Not their fault at all, it's not something you can understand until you go through it right? For all of their and most of our lives, we got sick, recovered, broke bones, healed. The idea of "chronic" anything (apart from depending on us), is a totally foreign concept to them. (I should have taught them sooner to do house-hold chores!)
Sorry I couldn't help. I have accepted that way things run in our home. Like you, I have a plan. When they get places of their own, the hubby and I will be going over and messing up their homes, leave all the lights on, dirty all the dishes, eat all their food then ask them for gas money before we leave!
That glass (or 3) of wine is looking pretty good right about now,
It makes one wonder how many parents are dealing with the adult kids at home. God we are only a few on a specific forum and we are dealing with it. I had my daughter and grandson living with us for 6'years, from the time he was born, my daughter is now remarried and expecting and doing very well on her own. My youngest hdaughter is 30 yrs old, she works full time a a medical technician which she went to school for but her pay does not allow her the freedom to live on her own. At 30 where is she going to find a roommate? Most are settled. So here she is and I don't believe she has any intention of leaving here soon. My husband and I have been married for 37 years had our first child a year after we were married. We have not been alone since then36 years ago!!! I remember I couldn't wait to move out on my own when I was 21!! I'm like you Janet I just accept the insanity and dysfunction and hope one day my hubby and I can have some nice alone time. The las time I visited my daughter I put my feet up on her coffee table, and she asked me if I could please not do that.... SERIOUSLY?? R you kidding me?? I'm pretty sure I still have crayon land play doh stuck in the crevices of my coffee table!! That made me laugh. Rene your girls are no different than most it seems. We spoiled them. I blame myself. I actually cherish the stuff stuck in the crevices of my coffee table...brings back good memories of when my grandson was here. We are very close to each other and face time all the time. Oh well that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger ; )
You sound like me! lol. You know what I've found having my granddaughter living with us is I really don't sweat the small stuff like I did when my kids were little. I ENJOY her more than I did my own kids, maybe I was just too busy raising them...Of course it's sad that she KNOWS I hurt, and there's a lot of things I can't do, but you know what, she really does focus on what I CAN do. There have been so many days when she's been only reason I get out of bed. You know that play dough you have on your coffee table? I have notes scribbled on the walls that I just can't (won't) wash off. :)
If I think about it, I have to say that it's a good feeling, that my kids still see me as parent and not as someone that's physically broken down. ( Having the vacuum run, or the dishes done would be nice though.)
Hope your legs are doing better,
That cruise is looking better and better. :P
It sure is Janet! I would love to be sitting on the deck drinking a frozen marguerita about now!
U guys never cease to crack me up,,,Mario N I said the same thing,,when they get married we too R gonna leave all the lights on eat their food and leave w the leftovers,,,I was starting to blame him for this,,glad to hear its not just us,,,U saved his life because I was gonna start to beat him to death,,lol...Thanks Again girls for the laugh and words of wisdom,,Luv ya all,,Rene :)
See Rene lots of good comes out of reading these posts. We saved Mario! I think children no matter how old they are and still living at home can't help but act like children. It is the only way they know how to behave under the parental roof! I have 2 daughters out of the nest married and doing well, my third daughter on the other hand makes up for it. She's very comfortable at home and I don't see her in any hurry to fly the nest!
Well, I woke up at 4:00 a.m., had a cup of coffee with my meds then unloaded the dishwasher and did 3 loads of laundry. Then got my granddaughter up, fed and ready for school. Now I'm well and truly ready for the knacker's yard. So I imagine I'll spend the rest of the day in a drug induced haze. So I figure if I'm gonna be in a haze, I may as well have a glass of wine later coz I still have about 3 loads of laundry left, YIKES. On the up side, I can see the floor in the laundry room now. :) Why is it that the chores that hurt the most are the ones that always need doing? Anyway, it feels good to have accomplished these few things. Now I'm going to have more coffee and read through some posts.
I'm still laughing over the "I'm Screwed" thing...What a great name to blog under!
I went 12 hours without pain medication and boy oh boy am I paying for that. I fall asleep so easily sometimes as I am waiting for the time to take it. It doesn't mean I'm not in pain it just means I have gotten myself comfortable enough and as long as I don't make a move I'm good. Easy on that laundry Janet! That's a lot of movement for your body! Because I'm home all day alone the only mess is the dust that settles LOL my hubby will vacuum and dust on the weekend. He does the dishes and dishwasher at this point too. We have simplified with throw away plates. It is a grey day here and I did too much yesterday so I'm gonna chill and read a new book I got on my iPad. " Merry Christmas, Alex Cross" I love books by James Patterson. Have a good morning ill check back later xo
Yep, my house cleaning went over like a lead balloon, got spasms out the ying-yang. ( I needed clean p.j.'s and with 5 of us here, towels always need washed.) If I was the maid, I'd fire me!
Let me know about the book , I almost bought it last night.
I read James Patterson too....and I have a ton of laundry to do..but since I can't bend down....i use my gopher and grab it piece by piece which takes forever....But eventually it gets done...As far as adult kids..OMG....I am on my way to take my meds and conk out for the night..I would sleep better if my legs weren't full of electricity that can light up the whole tampa bay.....nut I will take my gabepentin and hope it helps....Good Night All....Hope everyone has a good night.....>)
I also was wondering how she's been, hopefully good, she helped me out along with many others I'm sure. Really good people! :) Its hard for anyone to go through what we all do, and is great to see others help pull it together. Good luck,and hope she comes back
Guess its a good idea to scroll down before answering, lol,:), anyways, I'm sure everybody is glad to have you back Rene, I got lost in depression and other problems for a while myself.
Why is it that when we get depressed, we don't come to the one place we should in order to get some support?
Human nature is a funny thing.
Never seems to fail, does it? I ended up finding a work comp attorney to rep me after reinjuring my back because I was getting a big runaround, and even though was sent to a supposably good doc, he was limited to what he could do for me. The lawyers sent me to a different doc, and didn't come to any agreements with insurance on what doc I would be seeing, needless to say, she cut off my funds rather quickly, only to have the lawyers tell me a month later that they couldn't handle my case because its a federal claim, not state. After finding a good lawyer and waiting another month for new doctors appt, while still in excrutiating pain most of the time, the first thing he sees is a big piece of broken bone lodged in my spinal canal from the disc itself. This is the same damn MRI the previous doc was looking at, wtf doc? I think most of the time their appts are so tightly placed they are already thinking on next pacient instead of focusing on the ones they are with. Now its been over two months without pay and surgery in a week. Its supposed to be quick but I have never had any surgery and am nevertheless nervous. Guess I'll just have to go with the flow on this one.
I'm work comp too. It goes from a bad dream to a nightmare doesn't it!
Yeah, that it does. Can't wait for things to turn around, I've been pacient but I'm about to lose my mind. The work comp was going good after nagging the insurance lady and getting them to start my claim, just to have some dumbass attorney screw everything up. How are you doin with everything? I'm Justin by the way I remember you were in the last forum towards the end, with Rene. This is really an awesome place to relieve a little stress and chat a little , can't believe I forgot how much it actually helps
Nice to meet you Justin.
What's the nature of your injury? What treatments have you been through? What's next on the table?
Yes, it's a great group of people here, helpful, supportive and funny!
Looking forward to your posts,
Hey Justin,,Glad to see U back also. Janet is si right,,when we fall of the wagon we seem to forget this is the place we should be running to..Ive learned my lesson,, wont let that happen again,,but shes right , we R only human.How did al of your mess start? A bone fragement,,,,ouch..that must of been one serious trauma to ur back.As far as workers comp and no finances,,this govt sucks,,but lets send some more trillions to the other countries who dont even appreciate it..How bout more aid to our own people,,Im so sick of drivin down my street to see more n more houses forclosed..How do our kids stand a chance in this economy to ever affors their own houses..Thats a subject that can go on forever,,Politics, got to love it. Now theres a new subject,,what do u think BIGNIAP?
We still find our way back though, huh? And it does feel good, what's up Rene, how are you? Hopefully better, things for me went down the drain pretty fast. Still, I'm trying to keep my head up but it does get rough sometimes. I have missed everyone and wish you all the best there is in life. I'm currently trying to get mentally ready for my first surgery, good thing is they don't see reason for fusion or disc replacement, who knows in the future right? Its supposed to be a fairly easy surgery but still nervous. Bills are backed up and I've been pissed off and depressed lately, but I have a feeling things are gonna take a turn for the better soon. Stay positive, cuz there ain't nobody that can hold us down, sending my love from the west coast, Justin
Me again, lol, after my 4hrs. of sleep: ( the past week or so have been the same, very little rest and very uncomfortable. I just wanted to get back to you Janet, in 2008, I herniated my L4-L5 discs (lower back ) and went through everything except surgery, pt, steroid injections, etc., which helped for maybe a year. I kept working (painting naval vessels ) but for the past 3yrs had many of the same problems constantly, and tried to suck it up, and when I couldn't handle the pain I would be layed up for a few days, sometimes without being able to walk. A little over 3months ago started having serious pains again that just wouldn't cease with meds or anything, and went back to doctor only to find out it is a new herniation to L5-S1, which is next lowest from previous ones. I firmly believe it is caused by the first injury, after steroid injections I felt good enough for a while to work as usual, and afterwards still dealt with pain and stayed working to support my family. The steroids I think give a false sense of strength, to the point where all the strain put on my back went past that weak point and right down onto the next disc. The first work comp doc didn't want to validate my reasoning though. You really have to watch out for them,as they are not looking for your best interest even if it happens to be a great doctor, he/she will most lkely be on the insurance side of the whole thing,and just want to get you back to work. My best advice is to steer clear of the injections. There isn't even enough research to know exactly the long term effects, and is only temporary relief. I started to think about regular steroids and how the people who do them end up all saggy later on, and think that is what will eventually happen inside our bodies, to a point, over time. Take care of yourselves, and don't give in unknowingly to whatever the docs and insurance want to do for you. I found out first hand that they will screw you fast and without a care in the world. I know this is like a long love letter, lol, so I'll stop right here. Have a good day everybody, I'm off to the airport to pick up my mom , she's coming to spend thanksgiving with us: )
I'm a work comp too....and I thank god for my doc they sent me too..He was great...! Thank God..!
Yes w/comp is...there aren't words to describe it. I go in for my 3 month post op app on Dec. 3rd. If the surgeon won't get me a thoracic M.R.I., I'm just going to see a Dr. under my own insurance.
I KNOW there's something that's still messed up and it hasn't been addressed yet....(I could just blow my lid I get so mad at the system.)
How are you doing Lorine? You ready for turkey?
Happy Thanksgiving everyone,
All right Girls,,its Sunday night,,I thought for sure one of you guys would pop up,,,Janet,Trish Lorine Dana,,did you guys go on that trip without me?knock,knock ,,is anyone home,,,,,,,IM gonna strt writing and answering myself,,I know Im crazy, but lets not push me over the edge.,,,ok hope to hear from one of yous by tomorro,,,Rene :)
I'm back from Crazyville. It's so good to back in my own home. Now I'm enjoying catching up with all the posts I've missed. (Yes you read it right, I did say "ENJOY!")
You guys are GREAT. :D