Death Sentence Would Be Kinder
Since 2010, I have been in severe pain. It started one night just out of the blue and hasn't stopped since. I am diabetic and have neuropathy, but this isn't the usual restless leg pain anymore. I have found a regular doctor who is great. I am being treated for chronic pain, however thats not my end goal. I have a family history of renal failure and wish to avoid all unnecessary medications.
I have many back issues, wedged discs, narrowing of the main nerve canal (forgive me for not having the papers near by with all the medical terms). I have back pain with symptoms of pain, bee stings, electric shocks and just pain soreness. I get stinging or burning pains towards the inner buttock cheeks. My legs are the worst, the one thing I am having a hard time living with. They HURT all the time. As soon as the pain meds wear off, my veins from my toes up my leg get very large. The veins on my legs "rope". When the meds kick in, the veins go down and pain eases. I have phantom vibrations on my thighs, and sometimes my toes go in odd directions. I have to move them all the time just to stand them when I have break through pain. They hurt standing, sitting and sleeping....it never stops if its un medicated. I had what I call leg seizures once, woke up in the middle of the night with uncontrollable kicking, not just jerking, KICKING. From the waist down I had no control until it stopped. I regularly have leg spasms. There is a bit more but my symptoms are very weird.
I have had a MRI which showed many issues, but the doctor said there was no nerve entrapment. I then went to a neuro and orthopedic surgeon, who weren't really helpful. They said I had issues but w/o finding the pinched nerve on the MRI they couldn't explain my symptoms. I had no dye in the MRI, my doctor said it wouldn't make a difference, but I wonder. If someone could shed some light on that it would be great.
I'm not a "depressed" person, but I am frustrated. I have been in several car accidents when I was younger, fell off my horse a few times, rolled a 3 wheeler or two, fell flat out once and was hit on the head by a 4x6 from rafters once. I had a habit of playing super woman when moving furniture and other large loads in the past. Can someone give me an idea of what other tests I can badger him for. I don't go to the doctor when I am sick, I hadn't been in over 13 years until this started. Please help, I'm not much of a mom or wife right now. Its all I can do to sit long enough to type this, much less pull 12 hr shifts. I miss playing soccer with my kids, jumping on the trampoline, long walks with my dog, and pain free mornings.
I keep my meds by the bed. I roll over at 5 to take them so by 6 I can hopefully get up for work. I try not to have to use the bathroom at 5, once I stand up, its all she wrote....I am in so much pain. I sit in the living room and cry (yes its embarrassing to post) but I do until the meds kick in. Its not in my head, I wake up from the pain. I have had to get up in the middle of events and go take my meds. I have to take my meds before church or anything like a movie where I have to be still, or I'll go crazy. My biggest fear is being restrained where I can't move my legs and feet, and I'm in no way joking. I now know why an animal will chew its leg off to get out of a trap. I explain it this way, its like being on death row for a crime you didn't commit ( being tortured by the pain) and being put to death for it (not being able to prove what is wrong, or being able to express in words the pain level and have someone actually comprehend the pain level)
Please forgive any short comings in description or information. I have to cut this short for now. I will check back and see if I can answer your questions. Thanks