Out For a Drive
first time behind the wheel alone
Learning how to adjust just about everything in my life for my new self was daunting. Driving was always in the back of my mind, but I knew it would be awhile before I could face it and I had more healing to do. Everyone was so helpful. My Mom even came up from NC at Christmas time to help with baking. It had been a long time since I baked cookies with my Mom, so that was nice.
Seeing other people, especially MY kids pulling weeds out of my gardens was great fun! I was getting stronger, no longer had many side effects to the meds, late the first summer after my surgery, I declared I was ready to drive, but only by myself. I still could not move my neck enough to check my blind spots so I did not want to have any paasengers, especially a child.
I decided on a route that would consist of one right turn a mile or so straight road, left turn into 711. right turn towards home, straight mile, left turn...Home! Easy peasy. I got comfy in the car seat. Adjusted the mirrors, the seat belt, etc.. Started the car and took off with my husband waving his encouragement. Yeah! I'm driving alone.
It felt great going down that road. Everyone's yards looked so green and bright. I felt like a grown-up again, in charge of myself. I could only go 25mph, okay I went 30, but it was just right for me at that moment. I slipped right by the 711 without even seeing it, I got stopped at the corner by a red light, and when I realized what I had done I almost had a break down. I cried all the way home. I couln't even manage a run to 711? I forgot where I was going? I guess I was lucky I remembered how to get home.
Well, I eventually tried again and made it to my destination. Today I even drive with kids in the car. I can even make trips. We laugh about my first try now, how comical such small things seem now, when it was happening how utterly important it was to my being a whole person again. I just never knew - I'll never be the same person or "whole" person again. I'm different, every day it seems I come across something new. This is me, be ready, never know what will happen next!