Help Me My Brain Thinks I'm Falling
So far nothing has happened the way most of my doctors said it would or should or maybe could? They don't really know, and I am not saying that with animosity, it is just a fact when you are dealing with the spinal cord. ANYTHING can happen or not. My spinal cord seemed to follow the "norm" and after the initial two years of therapy and healing, it did not change anymore. I had to adjust to living with half a numb body from the chest down, and pain, lots of pain.
It is my left side that is numb which is good because I am right handed. I don't have any kind of words to describe what it is like to be touched or bumped into when that part of your body is numb. I almost get nauseated, thats how unpleasantly intense the feeling is.
I tried staying proactive in my recovery? is it still recovery ten or more years later? So every time I read something new I brought it in to my doctor (s) Can I try this? Will they try this in the US? Will this work on my tumor? what IS this? I was told several times to stay off the web, nah.
Then one day I stepped out on the cold cement of my garage floor with my left foot and I think I thought I felt it!! I tried it again, and nothing. Oh well. Couple of days later, I felt it again. I told my doctor, no don't think so, it's been too long. I felt it several times more that winter, I am sure of it, but I just entertained myself stepping on and off the cement and feeling the cold.
Later in the summer I started noticing little patches of my left leg had feeling, but I kept that to myself. Then all of a sudden I barely had balance again. I would be standing still and would suddenly feel like I was swaying, but my body wasn't even moving...freaky! I would flail my arms , trying to catch my balance, or lurtch suddenly.... In the shower I had to keep a hand on the wall the entire time or it would feel like I was going to fall.
I started to think that my body was trying to get away from my foot or something, then it dawned on me that maybe my brain just wasn't used to feeling my foot. It has been a long time since it felt that foot. So I started doing some balancing exercises on that foot/leg . I had to look at the ground or my foot while doing so or I would get the falling sensation.
Sometimes I would only feel the outline of my foot, sometimes I would only feel the pad right behind the toes, but it felt like it was swollen when it wasn't. I never feel the whole foot so maybe that is what throws the brain off? I spent the last of summer working on my balance, not too sure it really helped much. I do know one thing for sure, I smacked a mosquito that had landed on my leg. Yea, I felt a mosquito!!
Maybe when there is a whole leg to go with the foot all the signals to the brain will work? No more sway or sudden tumbles? I will have to let you know.