The Bus Stop
My first accomplishment as a broken Mother was taking my son to the bus stop for the first day of kindergarden. I knew I was going to walk him, so I practiced in advance so I would not look like a drunk bringing my boy to the stop. His bookbag packed, my sneaks tied tight, I took his still dimpled hand into mine and off we went!
Heel toe, heel toe, I made it! My son and I stood there silently watching as the other children arrived, some with their Mommies too. Soon it was like a celebration out there with all the little girls getting chatty and the boys running circles around the girls. Even the Moms joined in by grabbing their little ones up in big hugs and swingjng them around.
My son looked up at me with his incredible dark eyes and said,"you can't do that, can you Mom?" I said, while biting back the hurt, " no baby, but there are other things I can do ." From the day my tumor was discovered when my son was three, I never again held him in my arms. Til this day I would wish I could just swing him up into my arms one more time.
Finally the bus came and I waved until it was out of sight, I made it back home and was grateful for the silence for once. Grateful that the bus stop is only two blocks away, and yes grateful like so many people say I should be, that I CAN walk.